Sunday, December 13, 2009

Because I didn't do it when it was all the rage

A while back, long ago before anyone uttered the word Christmas or Daily Mail Christmas Party Scandal That Was More Like A Storm In A Tea Cup Than An Actual Scandal-Gate (all the best scandals have the suffix ''gate'' now a days), people put up ten facts and one lie. Some of the truths which were revealed were fer-nash-a-nating. Some of the lies were subtle as well. For example, I could see Various being scared of Parrots when she was a child. Especially the Norwegian Blue - just do not disturb it when it is pining for the Fjords!

Any way there was a point, and here it is:

I didn't do one as my life is essentially quite dull. Always has been and will most likely always be. I mean I am not like Tiger Woods. Though you wonder how he got a way with it for so long. He was probably complaining to his wife that he wasn't getting enough sex since the kid was born, and she in that empty threat way women use said, "find someone else then!" and he took her literally. But 10 women and 2 of them Porn Stars! If you are going to fuck up your life you may as well go nuts and do the best job you can. Any way, I didn't do a list and I won't but some people doubted me when I quoted Oscar Wilde on Friday ("The man who calls a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for" - Oscar Wilde) it was suggested that I do a list of famous quotes and one will be a lie. A tad pretentious, yes. But you know, whatever.

1. "Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them"
- Jules Feiffer

2. "I love blinking, I do!" Helen, Big Brother

3. "Beauty is truth, truth beauty' - that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know." - John Keats

4. "Regret. There is always Regret" Philip Larkin

5. "A truth told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent" - William Blake

6. "About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends" Herbert Hoover

7. "I pity unlearned gentlemen on a rainy day" Lucius Cary, Viscount Falkland

8. "Computers are stupid. They can only give you answers" Pablo Picaso

9. "Let them eat cake" Marie Antoinette

10. "I go from a corruptible to an incorruptible Crown, where no disturbance can be, no disturbance in the world" Charles Stuart, King of England

So there you go, one of them is wrong. I will know if you google it as this site is loaded to the tits with spyware!!!*

* Not really.


  1. I know the answer. But I won't say just yet. I have though, placed the answer in a sealed envelop with a copy of todays Times.

  2. "Let them eat cake" Marie Antoinette and no, I did not you well know as you are sat next to me watching me type this!

  3. Hmmm my uneducated guess is Larkin...

  4. Oub - In London April is a spring month and the badgers collect butter stamps! Leave the times in in locker 42022 a and I'll see you in Madrid

    Niamh, Leanne and Beedle - Good guesses one and all