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The Results 2009.

I was a little cheeky with the actual incorrect quotation, as it is one that is generally believed to be said but there is no proof that it was ever uttered by the person in question. And that quotation is:

Dramatic Drum Roll

"Let them eat cake" Marie Antoinette.

For a start Revolutionary France they would have eaten Brioche which is like a biscuit baked a few more times. Secondly, and more importantly it is believed to be Anti-Royalist propaganda (Simon Schama, "Citizens" and Ruth Scurr, "Robespierre: Fatal Purity"). At the time Marie Antoinette was unpopular for being Austrian and being embroiled in what was known as the Diamond Necklace Affair so she was an easy target. After the Revolution she was accused of abusing her children - without the benefit of that annoyingly pesky evidence. Louis XVI was executed and a few weeks later she was sent to the Guillotine. Her last words being, "pardon monsieur I meant no offence" as she accidently stepped on the executioners foot.

Sop there you go.

Because I didn't do it when it was all the rage

A while back, long ago before anyone uttered the word Christmas or Daily Mail Christmas Party Scandal That Was More Like A Storm In A Tea Cup Than An Actual Scandal-Gate (all the best scandals have the suffix ''gate'' now a days), people put up ten facts and one lie. Some of the truths which were revealed were fer-nash-a-nating. Some of the lies were subtle as well. For example, I could see Various being scared of Parrots when she was a child. Especially the Norwegian Blue - just do not disturb it when it is pining for the Fjords!

Any way there was a point, and here it is:

I didn't do one as my life is essentially quite dull. Always has been and will most likely always be. I mean I am not like Tiger Woods. Though you wonder how he got a way with it for so long. He was probably complaining to his wife that he wasn't getting enough sex since the kid was born, and she in that empty threat way women use said, "find someone else then!" and he took her literally. But 10 women and 2 of them Porn Stars! If you are going to fuck up your life you may as well go nuts and do the best job you can. Any way, I didn't do a list and I won't but some people doubted me when I quoted Oscar Wilde on Friday ("The man who calls a spade a spade should be compelled to use one. It is the only thing he is fit for" - Oscar Wilde) it was suggested that I do a list of famous quotes and one will be a lie. A tad pretentious, yes. But you know, whatever.

1. "Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them"
- Jules Feiffer

2. "I love blinking, I do!" Helen, Big Brother

3. "Beauty is truth, truth beauty' - that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know." - John Keats

4. "Regret. There is always Regret" Philip Larkin

5. "A truth told with bad intent beats all the lies you can invent" - William Blake

6. "About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends" Herbert Hoover

7. "I pity unlearned gentlemen on a rainy day" Lucius Cary, Viscount Falkland

8. "Computers are stupid. They can only give you answers" Pablo Picaso

9. "Let them eat cake" Marie Antoinette

10. "I go from a corruptible to an incorruptible Crown, where no disturbance can be, no disturbance in the world" Charles Stuart, King of England

So there you go, one of them is wrong. I will know if you google it as this site is loaded to the tits with spyware!!!*



* Not really.

The Exit is Lit

The exit is lit
The words do not come
The words are impotent
The words do not come.
The exit is:

"My father and I used to play a game"
He would say:
"Son, you go hide"
So I ran off
A giddy kid
Ducked under table cloth
Made myself hid,
Though he never came.

Did you Daddy!
"Ach du, Ach Du"
Hanging around
Like a singular shoe
Did you?

Alone I would stay
As the light would fade
My father, ah, well
It's all lies.
If I ever hid
Or sank,
He would find me and
Pull me out
Place me back on the boat.

"For the first time ever
I don't understand my television"

Flicking the channels
Attention span narrows
We are tools for advertisers.

"J'accuse"
The vapid, reality sluts of nothing.

There is uniformity
In this banality,
A Dule tree can be made
From any tree -
This is real uniformity.

I close the curtains
To kill the Sun.
Comrade Duch paces the halls
As he makes additions
To his crowded walls.

Poetry

I have decided I want to read some Dylan Thomas.


Suggestions

On the Tram

I’m crammed on a tram
Stuck between three or four
Bags on the floor
As the rain pours through
The left hand side door.
The mass of men
Behind me sway and lean
Pushing me nearer
To a woman reading
Closer magazine.
She eyes me suspiciously
And I sway continuously.
I smile a weak smile
In order to apologise
And with her disapproving eyes
She returns to her page.
A cacophony erupts,
A chorus of coughs,
Over my shoulder
As the chances increases
Of catching seasonal diseases.
People push on
And fight to get off
Some men mutter almost mute
“Won’t you all just f**k off?”
We’re packed in tight
And off to my right
Some kids has his ipod
On too damn loud
So all that the crowd
Can hear is a tinny
Rendition of something
Quite dancy
Being blasted into his ear.
We get to a stop
And there is a rush to
Disembark with
People shoving, pushing,
Bobbing, weaving
Ducking, slipping
To step into the dark.
I have some space for
Rest of the way
And then I approach my stop.

Joan O'Flynn

I heard the sad news that Joan, Drama Queen, passed away yesterday. I only knew her for the best part of this year. She was always encouraging of everyone in the group and will be sadly missed.